TO CARRY OR NOT TO CARRY

There's this term called CIO, stands for crying it out, that is popular among parents. Basically it's like a training for the baby to sleep on her own; cry it out then sleep. Moms and dads won't carry the baby to sleep.

Caedy has been quite cranky and demand to be carried at around 7-11pm, oh btw I have to walk around while carrying her. That's also the time I need to settle Keira (dinner, shower, change, homework, play, story time, etc). So I'm trying this CIO method for the first time last night.

I let Caedy cry for about 15-20mins. She didn't stop at all, I talked to her and pat her, but no carrying. She continued crying, so I checked her diaper. At the end she managed to sleep before 10pm. She then woke up at around 1am, fed her and then she slept on her own. But at 3am, she woke up screaming. Tummy had gas!! I suspected it was due to excessive crying. So I carried her for a while, walked around while giving pressure on her tummy, rubbed some oil, and there was an explosive gas + poo after that... Phew... then nursed her and she slept back...

It wasn't as smooth as I wanted. It was tough actually. But for long time advantage for everyone... I think I just have to do it. I can't wait til she's older so that she can at least show me different expression. I need to see her smile back at me, to assure me that she's a happy baby. But for now, I think I just gotta bear with it...

So here's for all mommies n daddies that have gone thru or going thru or will go thru this phase! It's all gonna pass soon, so just cherish this moment :)

Journey of Mothering Two

It's been few nights... Got Keira ready for bed at 9pm but she refused to sleep until 11++pm. That's also the time when Caedy got cranky and wanted me to carry. And in between those 2+ hours, Keira would want to go toilet for like 10x, I'm not kidding. I got angry with her almost every night. Never failed to threaten her that I'd take out cane if she didn't stop whining, I'd beat if she couldn't stop talking/singing/screaming/playing... last night I told myself that "OK... I'm not gonna scold her tonight!". But I think you can guess exactly what I did... I scolded her, yet again.

After the both of them slept, which was around 12am, I was doing my devotion with this wonderful book by Dr James Dobson. I cried so badly. I knew parenting requires sacrifice and patience, but I was so disappointed at myself. Then I think of the time, probably few years down the road, when the kids grow up, when the house is quiet... I'll miss their screaming, their cheeky, playful, annoying and unending demands... I fast forwarded my life to the time where they will leave for college somewhere else, what would I want to change (in my parenting) if I were to live this moment all over again... I told myself I'd stop scolding and yelling at Keira for petty little things, the small things that so easily got on my nerves. I'd carry Caedy when she was crying because she hadn't mastered the self-soothing skill. I'd interpret the situations from their perspectives.

I said sorry to God, I said sorry to them while they were sleeping, I said sorry to myself for failing...
I'll try again tonight. Try to be a better mom.

Breastfeeding 101

Feeding. Pumping. Feeding. Pumping. Feeding. Pumping. The list goes on...
Well, that's the only way to increase the breast milk supply.

Wanna share my breastfeeding experience with new mommies. Today marks day 20 of my confinement period. Things have been going well so far. I was able to pump 12.5oz at 4am today.

If you plan to breastfeed, first of all, I think you need to join a facebook group "The Breastfeeding Advocates Network", all the mommies are super helpful there. Also, check out their docs file, they are so generous in posting helpful tips & knowledge about breastfeeding. I have been much benefited from that page.

Finding a support group is perhaps the most important thing, esp when you have no experience. Your mom might not be the best supporter (at least not in my case), cos all she wants is that the baby has enough milk so that he/she can sleep more & mommy can rest too. And seeing the new mommy struggle in breastfeeding & having engorgement, sore nipples, blisters, cracked nipples (you name it...), your well-meaning mom might "strongly" suggest formula.

Secondly, breastfeed and pump as often as possible, even when your breasts feel empty. Caedy wanted to latch on every 30-60mins during her first week. It was normal. I think for the first 3-4 weeks, forget about the clock, forget about schedule... Just feed whenever the baby is showing the sign of hunger.

Thirdly, try to pump out the remaining milk. After each/ alternate feed, I will usually pump out both sides (i think unless your breasts are very empty already).. it's to send a signal to the brain that it's time to reproduce. Btw, if you have sore or cracked nipples, apply your own breast milk on your (.)(.). It's amazing how fast it heals.

OK honestly, sometimes I get very lazy too. I rarely wake up every 3 hour at night to pump (even after I set the alarm). I usually let the boobs wake me up :P It's just impossible to sleep w the engorged (.)(.).

Fourthly, drink plenty of liquid & eat well...

Lastly, invest in a good breastpump. I used Avent electric single pump previously, the good thing about this pump is the suction. it's very comfortable yet able to pump effectively. But it's very noisy and it's a single pump, very time consuming. The price is about RM600+. I've just changed to Spectra Dew 300. The good thing: I bought dual pump, save time and it's quiet. I can peacefully pump at night without waking the kids. It's very efficient but the suction is not as comfortable, quite rigid, but so far I love it... very easy cleaning too. Price RM390.40 (from fabulousmom.com)

Other than that, I also take Fenugreek, calcium supplement (Abbott) & Neurogain (DHA is very very important). Check out the TBAN group page, they have a list of things that can boost & lower your milk supply.

I think your determination and perseverance in breastfeeding are the best gifts for your little one. If you bump into my blog and need to find someone to support, feel free to email me juli_leejj@yahoo.com. It's my privilege to help mommies w this matter.

First Week Postpartum

Today marks day 8.

First 4 days were very tiring because baby needed to nurse every hour or less. Sore nipples, sleepless nights and moodiness were not a good combo. But after frequent nursing, I started to have more breastmilk and was able to pump out and let the confinement lady fed her at night while I slept. 

Another challenge was the jealous sister. Oh my. Keira wanted me to sleep with her every night and she would wake up during midnight and cried cos I wasn't next to her. Prior to the sister's arrival, we had been together all the time. The transition was hard,  I felt so bad. But she just had to overcome it. Things are slowly getting better now. Thank God!

Now about my confinement lady, Auntie Susan. She has been great. The only thing that I disliked was she kept asking me to mix formula and breastmilk. You know the first 4 days, when you were tired and discouraged and feeling blue bla bla bla... and she kept telling the baby "aiyo mommy no nenen ah... dont want to mix formula ah." Oh my goodness!  But the moment I had more than enough to pump, she was amazing. Her cooking is nice, she is not calculative, and is very knowledgeable. The way she handles newborn is good too. She helps to clean up and cook for other family members. I highly recommend her to moms to be, just that you have to be very persistent and determined to exclusively breastfeed, else you'll be shaken the first few days. 

So far, baby has been a good girl. Other than the need of frequent nursing, I haven't had any problem handling her *touch wood*. I'm praying that things won't get too hard for me especially cos Keith won't be around. 

Meanwhile, I'll just try to enjoy this resting period. Pray for us!

Labor & Delivery

I waved goodbye to my pregnancy last week on Jul 28. I was semi-induced due to some factors:
1. I already passed week 39 which made induction much safer.
2. Baby's position is very low.
3. Keith can only stay for about 2 weeks starting on Wed Jul 25, so Doc said its good to maximize his stay with the new baby.

After much thought, I'm glad that I agreed to induce. I definitely need Keith to be around. I did have postpartum blue (which I already expected) and his presence and support are much needed.

So Caedy was born 2.97kg at 2.55pm. All healthy and gorgeous *wink*. The labor and delivery were precious. I was induced with prostaglandins at about 9am (remember to make sure that the hospital is NOT using "Cytotec" to induce). Contractions had already started at 8.30am but was very mild and I wasn't dilated at all. So after induction, the contractions got stronger and more frequent. At 1.30pm, Doc came to rupture the membrane. Nurse told me that I'd be able to give birth at around 5-6pm. At around 2.30pm (I didn't really check the time), I was in much pain (it was amazing how our body can endure such pain!!!), I think I started pushing around 2.45pm? And Caedy was out after about 4 pushes. It was a very fast delivery. The moment baby was out, the pain was all gone. It was worth a try LOL.

Breastfeeding took place immediately and the experience was priceless.

FYI, delivery at SDMC - normal delivery (no epidural) + semi-induction + 1 night stay = less than RM4,000.

Baby Shopping List

My complete baby shopping list (brand new + second hand):
Feeding:
1. Bottles - 4x 8oz and 1x 4oz
2. Sterilizer (alternatively, some ppl use boiled waters)
3. Pacifier (optional)
4. Bibs (optional)
5. Teats (teat size 1)

Cleaning:
1. Brush (for bottle & teats)
2. Liquid cleanser 
3. Citric Acid (to rid the sterilizer of lime scale    )
4. Detergent for babies (do not use softener)

To wear:
1. L/S and S/S onesies - about 6-8 of them (both Keira & Caedy outgrew the newborn size in a matter of days, so don't buy too many of them.)
2. Mittens (second hand is usually too loose, if possible, buy new ones although baby just needs them for 6-8 weeks)
3. Socks (I prefer normal socks for newborn, they are not too loose)
4. Diapers
5. Hat
6. Blanket
7. Swaddler
8. Receiving blankets
9. Shoes (this is unnecessary actually, until they start walking)
10. Baby sling (optional)

Shower & Baby care:
1. Top to toe cleanser - Buds
2. Rash Cream - Pureen (drapolene is good enough too)
3. Ru Yi Oil (for baby's tummy if she is having gas in the tummy)
4. Washclothes
5. Alcohol Swabs
6. Nail Clipper
7. Wet tissues
8. Cottons
9. Massage Oil - Aromababy (bought in Aus)
10. Precious Newborn Travel Set - Buds 
11. Thermometer
12. Baby bath tub
13. Bath Stand
14. Towels

Travel:
1. Stroller (P3)
2. Car Seat
3. Diaper Bag
4. Changing mat (if the diaper bag doesn't come with it)

Nursery:
1. Cot (preferably a size 24” x 52” that can be converted into a toddler bed)
2. Changing Table (optional but highly recommended to prevent backache)
3. Mattress
4. Mattress Protector
5. Cot Bumper (optional: it is to cushion the baby from getting their limbs stuck in between the ‘bars’ but it increases risk of suffocation)
6. Blanket

Others:
1. High Chair
2. Walker (optional)
3. Playpen (optional)
4. Large net bouncer (optional but I find it very useful)

Breastfeeding:
Side Note - if you plan to breastfeed, the most important thing is to get support from your family or friends. Without them, I have to say it's very tough. There are many breastfeeding support groups nowadays, so do not hesitate to find help.
1. Nursing pads
2. Nursing bras
3. Breastpump
4. Milk storage bottles/plastic bags
5. Awesome Mom Cooler bag + Ice Packs (convenient for working moms or those who travel a lot).
6. Bottle warmer - don't have to buy expensive ones... cheaper brands like Autumnz works well too
7. Nursing cover
8. Nursing Pillow (optional)

Helpful Apps for Mommies

Whether you are using iPhone, iPad or Android phones, you just have to be thankful. As my due date is approaching, I was trying to recall what was going on in my first pregnancy, from labor to delivery to doctor's follow up to going back home...

When I was home the first month, I got frustrated so easily because I couldn't remember what was Keira's last activity. When was the last feed, when did I last change her diaper, because everything happened so frequently. You know, being a first time mom, I was a paranoia (Boo!). So I wrote down her daily schedules on a piece of paper everyday.

Last night, I searched if there's any android apps that help to tabulate newborn's activities. To my surprise, there are many of them. So I downloaded "Baby Care" that can record down all activities like feeding, changing, sleeping, etc... 

Another one is "Breastfeeding Tabulator". You can even remember which side of the breast you last fed the baby. Woohoo!

There's one more app "Time Flies" which I didn't install. It basically record down your past activity, any activities. Things like the last time you change your bedsheet, wash your car, buy groceries, wash toilet, etc... So if you are as forgetful as me, I think it can be useful. 

THANKS TO ALL THESE APPS AND THEY ARE ALL FREE!

Dry Shampoo

Did some research on dry shampoo today. I definitely need one during my confinement period. Going to pharmacy to find this brand "Klorane".

Apparently, not many brands are available in Malaysia, the most popular among the mommies is "Comfy Care", but the review is not as good. 

Will write some review on Klorane if I manage to get one. :)

Confinement Period #1 vs #2

In the previous confinement period, I didn't do well. So, this time round, I've made better preparation. Hopefully, even if I have postpartum blue again, I can cope better.

First of all, I have engaged a confinement lady, who will help to care for Caedy, do the laundry, cook for me & family and do basic house chores. (#1 confinement, I didn't have one, I constantly worried that my mom would be too tired & I was so stressed out when the house wasn't as clean as I wanted.)

I accept the fact that if I want my mom to come and help to look after Keira, there are things that I have to agree with her, i.e. do not walk up and down the stairs the first few days, do not wash hair daily (gonna try Comfy Care dry shampoo for the first time), and so on. I'll try to compromise on things that won't harm me and the baby and just take things easily. (#1 confinement: I pulled a long face many times because I just couldn't agree with my mom & I constantly "judged" the way she did things.)

I have bought Amway's "Post Natal Tropical Herbs".  I think it's very convenient, in terms of preparation and consumption. I still remember, my mom bought a full set of pre-packed herbs and she had to boil it for hours and I had to drink bowlssss of soup & herbal drinks daily, I was sweaty & bloated all the time. So this time round, just normal soup with meals + the Amway products. Oh ya, the post natal set also comes with the herbal bath, massage oil, herbal tea, etc... I read some good reviews about the products.

Now that I've settled my own part and my mom's part, I really pray that Keira will adapt to the new addition well and the confinement lady will be cooperative with how I want things to be done. I only have less than a month to put Keira back to her routine (back to school & daycare, sleep early, sleep on her own bed bla bla bla...), so wish me luck!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed!